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Why I Write About What I Write About
A friend recently commented that not all of my blog posts are about child loss. It was a casual remark in the middle of a conversation and not really the topic at hand, so I didn’t dwell on it. But, in thinking about what she said, it’s true and yet it’s not. I’ve written about…
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Number Our Days
Our days are numbered. That’s not a comforting thought, is it? Personally, I’m thankful I do not know what that number is for me. And I’m very grateful I did not know that my daughter’s days were numbered at 11,112. How dreadful it would have been to have that countdown in my mind for 30…
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Souvenirs
One of my favorite songs is “The Older I Get” by Alan Jackson. I love the line: And I don’t mind all the lines from all the times I’ve laughed and cried; souvenirs and little signs of the life I’ve lived. Alan Jackson, “The Older I Get” This week my stepmother went to heaven. She…
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In Our Future
One of my favorite Bible verses comes from Paul’s first letter to the congregation in Thessalonica. In chapter 4 Paul is reminding them of what he taught them about how to live a Godly life. (I love how in verse 11 he tells them to mind their own business.) Starting in verse 13 he changes…
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Should Have Been
This coming Friday, February 10th should have been Rachel’s 6th wedding anniversary. I have to take a deep breath and compose myself every time my mind starts to go down the should, could, would have been path. Of course, I don’t know what her life would be like now any more than I know what mine will…
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No Fear
I talked last week about not liking surprises, of wanting to feel in control. I’ve also talked about being a worrywart. These personality traits and my emotional reactions to things are heightened by the experience of child loss. This is not uncommon; other bereaved parents say they feel changed in the same way. It’s good…
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Control
I think every aspect of who I am has been exacerbated by deep grief. The good things and the not so good. I’m definitely an introvert. When I say this, it seems to surprise some people. Mainly the people I know just professionally. I worked in a corporate environment for more than 30 years before…
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Mama
This past Wednesday, January 11th, marked 28 years since my sweet mama went to Heaven. She was 62. I have lived a year longer so far than she got to. The older I get the more I miss her. You’d think it would be the opposite. And granted it’s not the wracking grief of a…
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Thanks Before the Miracle
In November I posted on Facebook about a phrase that stood out for me from a devotional. The writer was referencing the story of the five loaves and two small fish (John chapter 6) and said that she had previously missed an important detail in the telling. Jesus took the loaves and then the fish…
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New Year’s Resolution
A note to readers: Not everything I write is directly about child loss. But, everything I write is influenced by my experience as a bereaved parent. I’ve said before that my life has been fundamentally changed by my daughter’s death, just as my life was fundamentally changed when I became a parent to my two…

