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Not Enough
From my journal July 7, 2019: Our son-in-law (Rachel’s widower — OH! how I hate typing that) came to visit us for a few days this week. We love him and always enjoy spending time with him. But, I admit I always anticipate his visits with a mixture of joy and dread. Because his presence…
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Revealed
I keep a notepad handy beside my reading chair to jot down quotes or ideas from various sources that I think might spur a blog post. One of my morning devotional readings is Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. More than once a phrase or observation in her book has prompted me to write. In her…
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Thoughtful
My 14-year-old granddaughter has taken ballet lessons for several years now. This is the second year in a row that she was selected by audition to perform in a city-wide production of The Nutcracker. Although she has been dancing en pointe for three years, this year is her first time to do so in a…
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Thankful
The holiday season is fast upon us. It seems that as soon as Halloween is over most people in the U.S. are rushing headlong into preparing for the winter holidays. On November 1st I saw a house that already had Christmas lights and tinsel hanging from the eaves while the Halloween lawn inflatables lay withered on…
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Hope
It’s frustrating for me as a Christ follower when someone who is not a believer twists a Bible verse in a way in a way to try to dispute my beliefs. I freely admit that, although I read my Bible every morning, I am not a Bible scholar or expert, so I sometimes can’t counter…
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Helpers
We humans seem to feel it’s a weakness to ask for help. From refusing the bagger’s offer to take the groceries to the car to living with knee pain for seven years before finally agreeing to surgery to being reluctant to take antidepressants we want to show that we can fend for ourselves. Is it…
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I Wouldn’t Change a Thing (except)
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. Many of the mothers in the two bereaved parents’ groups I belong to have suffered a miscarriage or delivered a baby born straight into Heaven. There are so many emotions associated with these losses, as there are whenever a child dies. But, these grieving mamas also bear…
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Pink Ribbons & Pumpkin Pie
October is a favorite month for lots of folks. Fall is officially under way for most of North America. Leaves are turning vibrant colors. Sweaters are pulled out of cedar chests or spare bedroom closets. High school football teams are gearing up for the Homecoming game and college tailgate parties are at their peak. Oh…
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Changes
I have talked before about dealing with physical changes. How looking in my mirror can be disconcerting. Feeling like my daughter is fixed in amber at 30 years of age, but I continue to change, and worrying if she will recognize me when I get to Heaven. I admit I am unhappy with the weight…
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Friendships After Loss
Grief can be hard on a friendship. Especially the grief of child loss. By the time we are adults, most of us have experienced the loss of someone we love, often a grandparent. At my age, I have only a few friends fortunate enough to still have a parent living. All of my own close…
A Light for My Path
Carrying the torch for bereaved parents.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105
Why I’m Here
It feels impossible that I have lived for more than eight years now (ed. 2025) without one of my children in my life. Yet, here I am. And, here I will be for however many more years I have in this world.
I’ve learned a lot in these ensuing years. Some lessons I didn’t want to learn and some I wouldn’t have learned any other way than through losing Rachel. I would give anything to have remained ignorant. I have learned that losing a child changes you fundamentally, just as becoming a parent does. I have learned that those changes can be hard on relationships. That members of the same family will grieve differently, and we have to give each other grace. That deep and lasting grief can be frightening or uncomfortable to others. That some of those others will pull away. That many more others will stand beside you even when your changed self is hard to be around, awkward, talking too much, silent, laughing inappropriately, or crying uncontrollably.
What doesn’t change is God’s grace and mercy. He is here in the midst of the deepest grief. His Spirit groans for us when we don’t know what to pray. And, in my case, He led me to a wonderful group of other hurting hearts who shared their loss experiences, their faith struggles, and their recognition that though we grieve, we grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13).
I’ve decided that just maybe I’ve attained enough life lessons to be of some help to other grieving parents. To that end, I launched this blog site and a companion Facebook page. They are open to all, but the target audience is parents who have lost a child and those who love and want to support them. My posts reflect my Christian beliefs and will follow Biblical principles. I welcome questions, comments, humor, soul-baring, vulnerability, doubt, strength, and support.
Laura 3/28/2022
We are all just walking each other home.
Ram Dass
A Light for My Path 