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Friendships After Loss
Grief can be hard on a friendship. Especially the grief of child loss. By the time we are adults, most of us have experienced the loss of someone we love, often a grandparent. At my age, I have only a few friends fortunate enough to still have a parent living. All of my own close…
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Always
I often look back at past journal entries and sometimes marvel how much has changed, but often find that much of what I did, said, or felt still holds true. The things that stay the same tend to be because I’m a creature of habit. Things that have changed are frequently because I’ve gotten older,…
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Hurricanes, Bum Knees, and Bad Tires
I started to write about this last week, but my mind kept veering off in another direction. I’ve been writing long enough now to know to go where God leads me. (Not always without a fight, I admit.) But, that means this post is not as timely as it would have been. Two weeks ago,…
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Home
In my almost 64 years on this Earth, I have lived in 15 homes. Based on simple math, you’d think that I have moved about every 4 years over my lifetime. But, actually, I lived in 2 homes in the same tiny small town from the time I was born until I went to college.…
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Reading
I wrote this May 29, 2018, a year and seven weeks after Rachel died. I just did something I haven’t done in a long time — 59 weeks to be exact. I finished reading a novel. Sat completely absorbed in it for the better part of the past 2 1/2 days. That shouldn’t be a…
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Carry Me
When my girls were little, they would frequently raise their arms to me and plead “carry me.” Sometimes they were tired of walking but often they just wanted the comfort and security of being held close or the advantage of being adult height so they could see what was ahead. Occasionally my reply would be,…
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Music
Music has always been a big part of my life. Not that I am at all an accomplished musician myself. Oh, I took piano for six years and I can read music, but I have no talent for playing. I can stay on key if I stand beside another alto, but no one is clamoring…
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Did I Do All I Could Do?
There’s a song sung by country music duo Joey and Rory called “In the Time That You Gave Me.” They recorded the song after Joey was diagnosed with cervical cancer, which took her life a few months later. A repeated line in the song is “Did I do all I could do in the time…
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Doxology
I grew up in a traditional Presbyterian church. The Sunday morning service always followed a defined liturgy. To some folks a specific order of worship might feel staid and lacking in spontaneity. (The nickname for Presbyterians is the “frozen chosen,” after all.) To me though, the ritual was comforting. I knew all the hymns by…
A Light for My Path
Carrying the torch for bereaved parents.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105
Why I’m Here
It feels impossible that I have lived for more than eight years now (ed. 2025) without one of my children in my life. Yet, here I am. And, here I will be for however many more years I have in this world.
I’ve learned a lot in these ensuing years. Some lessons I didn’t want to learn and some I wouldn’t have learned any other way than through losing Rachel. I would give anything to have remained ignorant. I have learned that losing a child changes you fundamentally, just as becoming a parent does. I have learned that those changes can be hard on relationships. That members of the same family will grieve differently, and we have to give each other grace. That deep and lasting grief can be frightening or uncomfortable to others. That some of those others will pull away. That many more others will stand beside you even when your changed self is hard to be around, awkward, talking too much, silent, laughing inappropriately, or crying uncontrollably.
What doesn’t change is God’s grace and mercy. He is here in the midst of the deepest grief. His Spirit groans for us when we don’t know what to pray. And, in my case, He led me to a wonderful group of other hurting hearts who shared their loss experiences, their faith struggles, and their recognition that though we grieve, we grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13).
I’ve decided that just maybe I’ve attained enough life lessons to be of some help to other grieving parents. To that end, I launched this blog site and a companion Facebook page. They are open to all, but the target audience is parents who have lost a child and those who love and want to support them. My posts reflect my Christian beliefs and will follow Biblical principles. I welcome questions, comments, humor, soul-baring, vulnerability, doubt, strength, and support.
Laura 3/28/2022
We are all just walking each other home.
Ram Dass
A Light for My Path 