A Light for My Path

We who have been raised in Christian families were taught since we were small that God is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-good, all-faithful, eternal, and never changing. We’ve also been told that if we pray to God and ask in faith for something, He will give it.

There are multiple Bible verses that tell us God will hear our prayers and requests and He will fulfill them.

• Matthew 7:7 says: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
• Matthew 21:22 says: “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”
• Mark 11:24 says: “Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

It’s hard as a child to fathom the concept of eternity. It’s hard to understand the concept of God. I remember some of the questions my girls asked when they were little:

• When was God born?
• Who were God’s parents?
• If God is in Heaven does that mean He died?
• How old is God?

Sometimes it’s hard to answer our children’s questions in a way that they can understand.

Sometimes it’s hard to accept God’s answers to our prayers and questions in a way we can understand. It’s even harder when He says “No” or it seems He hasn’t answered at all. At times it has felt to me like my most ardent prayers, the ones I most need an answer to are the ones met with silence or no.

That’s not to say that God has been silent or has ignored all my prayers. When I was a young bride, I suffered a miscarriage because of a physical problem I had but wasn’t aware of. I prayed that God would guide the doctor’s hands during the surgical procedure that would enable me to carry a baby to full term. My prayers were answered and I delivered two healthy little girls within the following six years.

I prayed that the animosity that grew between my ex-husband and me for several years after our divorce would subside. Neither of us was proud of the angry words we spoke in front of our daughters. Neither of us wanted the girls to have to “choose sides” or walk on eggshells when we all had to be at an event together.

I prayed for help in holding my tongue and in putting my children’s needs first. God listened and guided me to scriptures, devotionals, and support groups. My ex and I each remarried. His new wife brought two children of her own into the marriage. The children accepted and loved each other and their step-parents. We four adults eventually became friends and enjoyed each other’s company when we celebrated birthdays and other milestones.

I suppose I became complacent over the years. I was a good wife, mother, daughter, friend, co-worker. God looked favorably on me and blessed me because I was good. Only, that’s not the way it works, is it? God blesses, comforts, and loves us because HE is good. And part of His goodness and mercy is shielding us from knowing the future.

The most ardent prayers I have ever prayed was when I heard that my daughter was dead. I got the news at work – a phone call from her husband. When I got home, after I made some necessary phone calls myself, I crawled onto my bed, curled on my elbows and knees, and wailed. Wordless prayers. Begging God to tell me it wasn’t true. She was injured. In the hospital. Hurt, but not dead. The police had gotten incorrect information when they showed up at my son-in-law’s workplace. When he was taken to identify her body, it only looked like she wasn’t breathing.

God could make those things happen. He could reverse time and have her narrowly avoid the gravel truck she hit head-on. But He didn’t.

The most important thing I had ever prayed for in my life and God said no.

1 John 5:14-15 says: “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of Him.”

It took me a long time to understand the nuance of this verse. We can ask God for anything. And He always hears us. But did my request align with His will, His purpose? Did I forget the part of the Lord’s Prayer that says: “Thy will be done”? That’s the part where faith kicks in. Where the long view becomes important.

Is my faith in Him strong enough to wait? To believe that there is a plan and a reason for everything according to His will? To have the patience to accept a temporary “no” . . .

and trust that there is an eternal “YES”?

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Laura