A Light for My Path

I’ve mentioned before that one of the devotionals I read each morning is Our Daily Bread. The devotional on Saturday, January 25^th was titled “God’s Perfect Care” by Elisa Morgan. The prayer at the end of the piece said:

Dear Father, please help me to trust you with my loved ones, knowing that You can carry them better than I can.

Most of us as parents are pretty protective of our children. They are precious gifts, and we want them to be safe. When someone wants to pick up and carry our infant, we hover nearby with our hands ready to catch them at the slightest sign of a slip. We vet their friends and get to know other parents before letting our child go for a sleepover or ride in a car with them.

And we pray to God for their protection, their health, their welfare, their happiness, their prosperity. We trust that God hears our prayers and will keep our children from harm.

Until the worst happens.

---

I worried and prayed over my younger daughter a lot. She was diagnosed with a form of epilepsy when she was three. Her seizures only occurred in her sleep and the available medications had some worrisome side effects. With her doctor’s consent we decided not to medicate her. But in elementary school she wanted to stay overnight with friends and was embarrassed when she had seizures. So, we agreed to start medications which brought additional worries.

One side effect was trouble with reading comprehension and concentration. We hired tutors. She was self-conscious because her seizures weren’t completely controlled. She felt unpopular. In high school she started making not-so-smart friend choices. We transferred her to a small Christian school where she had more individual attention and a different peer group. Still, she rebelled.

I prayed for better treatment for her health issues and for maturity in her life choices.

In college she met friends who invited her to their church. She got to know the pastor and his wife and often babysat their children. She became good friends with a couple who would go on to become part of the church staff. She attended church and home groups regularly. My prayers were being answered!

After graduation and a move, she drifted away from church a bit and made some not-so-great relationship choices. She also had surgery that was supposed to help mitigate her seizures, but it wasn’t as successful as we had hoped. I prayed some more.

At the encouragement of her former pastor, she was drawn back to her church and her Christian friends. She even agreed to let them fix her up with a man who had recently joined their home group. Around the same time, she had a second surgery that seemed to have better results. More answered prayers.

Almost exactly a year after they met, she married her sweetheart. To be honest, he was not the man I had envisioned when I prayed for a life partner for her. But God knew better; they were just right for each other. He had listened to me and given me what I asked for. My fervent praying worked.

---

Until the worst happened.

My beautiful, capable, hard-working, Jesus-loving, glowing newlywed daughter died in a car accident on her way to work just two months after her wedding.

I had entrusted her to God! I had prayed for her protection, health, welfare, prosperity, and happiness. When I finally felt confident to loosen my hold on her, why didn’t He carry her?

Well, He did, of course. He carried her through trials and learning experiences. He carried her through illness and the skilled hands of surgeons. He carried her through stubbornness and humility. He carried her through bad relationships and true love. And I am confident He carried her to Heaven.

He didn’t answer my prayers in the way I expected Him to. I don’t fully understand why. What I do understand is that the most important part of the prayer is “please help me to trust You.” Help me to trust that You carry everything better than I can.

Until the best happens.

---

Laura