Our house is in a rural area and we are on a well and septic tank. We have several filters and two different kinds of softeners to take things like tannins, lime, and iron out of the water. These filters have to be changed periodically. Prior to my husband’s knee replacement surgeries, he gave me a tutorial on water system maintenance so I could temporarily take over this chore.
More than once I was trying with all my might to twist the cap off a filter housing and it would not budge. My husband would watch me struggle, then patiently remind me that I needed to open a valve first. Once I did that, I still needed to use some muscle, but I could turn the cap by hand.
Even though I had turned the well off, there was still water in the pipes and it needed an outlet “upstream” of the filter to release the pressure. Not only was I exerting much more effort than needed, but had I somehow been able to loosen the cap, the built-up pressure would have sent bleachy water and sediment spewing out of the filter.
Opening the valve to create an outlet for the pent-up water pressure is easy. I just have to remember to do it.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see where this is going. We all have pressures in our lives. Some of them are short-term. Perhaps we’ve been asked to cover for a co-worker while she’s out on maternity leave. Even if taking on this task means a bonus or some additional time off when she is back, the extra work over several months’ time can be stressful and burdensome.
Maybe a family member is suffering from an illness and needs daily care. Perhaps your marriage has hit a rocky period and you’re unsure of the outcome. What if your company is having layoffs and your household finances are dependent on your income?
What if one or more of these stressful situations comes on top of the underlying grief you always carry from losing your child?
I feel like I have learned to live with my grief these seven years since losing my daughter. I still miss her – I always will. And, I still cry sometimes when I look at old pictures or a significant date turns up on the calendar. But, I have a pretty good handle on my life and my emotions.
Except that I tend to overreact when something interrupts my routine. Small problems take on outsize proportions when I feel under pressure. And, often instead of reaching for those outlets that help me relieve the pressure (going for a walk, writing, prioritizing tasks, asking for help, praying), I stubbornly keep trying to do everything all at once by myself and usually end up blowing my top.
That’s not pretty and it’s not nice. I have to make apologies and amends to my sweet husband, who is generally the audience for my melt-downs. I have to back up and do those things I should have done to start with. Which may mean asking for help on something that now has a shorter timeline.
And, I have to once again remind myself that I don’t have superhuman strength, physically or emotionally. And, if I would just look up, I would see that God has been there all the time. Just waiting for me to reach out my hand.
Opening the valve to create an outlet for the pent-up water pressure is easy. I just have to remember to do it.
Laura
A Light for My Path 
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