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The Enemy
Last week I mentioned that I hate the word “death.” It is so harsh. Rather than speak of someone’s death, I prefer to say their “homegoing.” Why is death so hard? Why is death so frightening? It seems self-evident on the one hand. Someone we love is gone from this life. Yet, we are all…
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Good Grief
I’m writing this post on April 11th, 2025, the eighth anniversary of my younger daughter’s death. As an aside, don’t you feel the word “death” is harsh? I do. I love the African American tradition of referring to a memorial service or funeral as a “homegoing celebration.” It doesn’t negate the grieving over the loss…
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Give Me a Minute
This coming Friday, April 11th marks eight years since my daughter Rachel went to Heaven. It’s hard for me to fathom that it’s really been that long since I hugged her, spoke to her, laughed with her, argued with her, ate chocolate cake with her, watched her walk down the aisle with her newlywed husband.…
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Worth Savin’
I have been a member of two online bereaved parents’ groups now for more than seven years. A question and concern many parents express is whether or not their child is in Heaven. Young people often make poor choices. (I certainly did.) Some children have died as a result of illicit drug use or were…
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New Normal
A phrase I hear a lot is “new normal.” It’s a way of saying “this is how things are now.” Whether we like it or not, we have to accept that something has changed and there’s no going back. People say it to describe a change in their lifestyle. A young woman who drove a…
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Hope (Again)
Because all my writing for this blog reflects my experience in child loss, I often come back to the same themes. And a lot of these themes have to do with what I’ve learned about God’s character or His Word. Hope has been on my mind a lot lately. But when I checked back through…
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Taboo
I have a very dear friend who I met through volunteering at a local thrift store. I serve on the board of a small nonprofit she established. Her credentials are impressive. She is an ordained pastor, a certified grief and marriage/family counselor. One of the several programs offered by her nonprofit is conducting grief workshops.…
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Peace Like a River
Folks who read my blog on a regular basis probably get tired of me talking about the river that runs by our property. It’s nothing grand. It’s not like we live on the Amazon or the Mississippi. Or the Seine (I can only dream!). It’s a little spring-fed river called the Santa Fe that meanders…
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Old Soul
According to my online dictionary, an “old soul” is a term often used to describe someone who exhibits wisdom, maturity, and a depth of understanding that seems beyond their years. People who identify as old souls may feel more connected to the past, prefer deeper conversations over small talk, and possess a sense of empathy and…
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Not Our Ways
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. Isaiah 55:8 In the Our Daily Bread devotional for February 12th, the writer describes a trip her husband had planned to take to Africa years ago. The trip was unexpectedly cancelled at the last minute, but they were able…
A Light for My Path
Carrying the torch for bereaved parents.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105
Why I’m Here
It feels impossible that I have lived for more than eight years now (ed. 2025) without one of my children in my life. Yet, here I am. And, here I will be for however many more years I have in this world.
I’ve learned a lot in these ensuing years. Some lessons I didn’t want to learn and some I wouldn’t have learned any other way than through losing Rachel. I would give anything to have remained ignorant. I have learned that losing a child changes you fundamentally, just as becoming a parent does. I have learned that those changes can be hard on relationships. That members of the same family will grieve differently, and we have to give each other grace. That deep and lasting grief can be frightening or uncomfortable to others. That some of those others will pull away. That many more others will stand beside you even when your changed self is hard to be around, awkward, talking too much, silent, laughing inappropriately, or crying uncontrollably.
What doesn’t change is God’s grace and mercy. He is here in the midst of the deepest grief. His Spirit groans for us when we don’t know what to pray. And, in my case, He led me to a wonderful group of other hurting hearts who shared their loss experiences, their faith struggles, and their recognition that though we grieve, we grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13).
I’ve decided that just maybe I’ve attained enough life lessons to be of some help to other grieving parents. To that end, I launched this blog site and a companion Facebook page. They are open to all, but the target audience is parents who have lost a child and those who love and want to support them. My posts reflect my Christian beliefs and will follow Biblical principles. I welcome questions, comments, humor, soul-baring, vulnerability, doubt, strength, and support.
Laura 3/28/2022
We are all just walking each other home.
Ram Dass
A Light for My Path 