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Daddy’s Girl
I’ve written several times about my father. In fact, one of my first blog posts in 2022 was about him, titled “What’s In your Pocket?”. With Father’s Day coming up this Sunday, I can’t help but reminisce about him again. I’m an admitted daddy’s girl even though he’s gone to Heaven and I’m 65. Fathers…
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That’s Life
My friend Melanie, who is also a bereaved mother, has a website titled The Life I Didn’t Choose. That title is a perfect encapsulation of how life feels when you lose a child. It also reflects the feelings of many people about the twists and turns they’ve encountered in life. Life doesn’t always follow our…
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Family
What is a family? Traditionally family is defined as your close “blood” relatives. People who are direct descendants of a man and a woman as far back in your ancestry that you can trace. People who are interested in their heritage often have made a hobby of genealogy and have traced their family roots back…
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Used To It
A frequent and poignant question that newly bereaved parents ask is “how do I get used to this life without my child in it?”. That’s often followed by “I don’t want to get used to it. It’s not the way life is supposed to be.”. It’s true that child loss is abnormal. Parents are not…
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New Season
I’ve talked before about grief seasons. Many bereaved parents have a certain period each year that their grief is more prominent. This seasonal grieving usually settles in two or three years after the death of their child. The first few years are so hard. Grief triggers are everywhere, and emotions are raw. But even eight…
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Perspective
About two months after my younger daughter died in a car accident, I wrote the following in my journal: Don’t ever think you don’t make an impact on the world. Consider this. One young woman dies, but here are all the people the world lost: a wife, a daughter, a sister, a niece, an aunt,…
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Better Than Laughter
About three years ago I wrote a post titled Crying. I talked about how, for me, crying is cathartic. I am an emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I cry easily. Joyful moments can bring tears to my eyes just as much as sad moments. Even after more than thirty years…
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The Enemy
Last week I mentioned that I hate the word “death.” It is so harsh. Rather than speak of someone’s death, I prefer to say their “homegoing.” Why is death so hard? Why is death so frightening? It seems self-evident on the one hand. Someone we love is gone from this life. Yet, we are all…
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Good Grief
I’m writing this post on April 11th, 2025, the eighth anniversary of my younger daughter’s death. As an aside, don’t you feel the word “death” is harsh? I do. I love the African American tradition of referring to a memorial service or funeral as a “homegoing celebration.” It doesn’t negate the grieving over the loss…
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Give Me a Minute
This coming Friday, April 11th marks eight years since my daughter Rachel went to Heaven. It’s hard for me to fathom that it’s really been that long since I hugged her, spoke to her, laughed with her, argued with her, ate chocolate cake with her, watched her walk down the aisle with her newlywed husband.…
A Light for My Path
Carrying the torch for bereaved parents.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105
Why I’m Here
It feels impossible that I have lived for more than eight years now (ed. 2025) without one of my children in my life. Yet, here I am. And, here I will be for however many more years I have in this world.
I’ve learned a lot in these ensuing years. Some lessons I didn’t want to learn and some I wouldn’t have learned any other way than through losing Rachel. I would give anything to have remained ignorant. I have learned that losing a child changes you fundamentally, just as becoming a parent does. I have learned that those changes can be hard on relationships. That members of the same family will grieve differently, and we have to give each other grace. That deep and lasting grief can be frightening or uncomfortable to others. That some of those others will pull away. That many more others will stand beside you even when your changed self is hard to be around, awkward, talking too much, silent, laughing inappropriately, or crying uncontrollably.
What doesn’t change is God’s grace and mercy. He is here in the midst of the deepest grief. His Spirit groans for us when we don’t know what to pray. And, in my case, He led me to a wonderful group of other hurting hearts who shared their loss experiences, their faith struggles, and their recognition that though we grieve, we grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13).
I’ve decided that just maybe I’ve attained enough life lessons to be of some help to other grieving parents. To that end, I launched this blog site and a companion Facebook page. They are open to all, but the target audience is parents who have lost a child and those who love and want to support them. My posts reflect my Christian beliefs and will follow Biblical principles. I welcome questions, comments, humor, soul-baring, vulnerability, doubt, strength, and support.
Laura 3/28/2022
We are all just walking each other home.
Ram Dass
A Light for My Path 