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Words
Many of my friends who are writers have had a significant loss in their lives (child, spouse, parent, marriage, home, job, etc.). These losses are devastating even if they were foreseen. My mother died of breast cancer in 1995 at age 62. She was diagnosed with the disease five years prior and the doctors warned…
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Trouble
In the Our Daily Bread devotional for October 7th, Arthur Jackson talks about something Oswald Chambers wrote at the beginning of WWI. He references John 16:33 where Jesus warns his disciples of the “inevitability of peril.” Bad things will happen. Christ was specifically warning them about his upcoming arrest and crucifixion as well as the…
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Well Done
A sweet friend lost her brother unexpectedly last week. I attended his funeral yesterday. It’s been 8 ½ years since my younger daughter died, and I have attended at least five funerals in that interim. My heart still mourns for all the lost loved ones, but I’m mostly past being emotionally triggered at memorial services.…
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Good People
Every week when I sit down to write my blog post, I start with a prayer. Specifically, Psalm 19:14: May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer. I love to write. Putting words on paper helps me untangle my…
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Bitter or Better?
Recently I was invited to attend a ladies’ tea at a dear friend’s church. It was a fun and inspiring event. First of all, we got to dress up, which I confess is something I don’t do very often since I retired. And when I say “dress up” I mean we wore hats or fascinators,…
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Coffee
I’ve read countless posts in the bereaved parents’ groups that I belong to about grief triggers. I’ve written about them myself. If your child has been gone for a few years, you can usually anticipate and avoid (or at least prepare for) many triggers. Specific dates are obvious: your child’s birthday or homegoing date, your…
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The Thing With Feathers
There’s a famous poem by Emily Dickinson called “Hope is the Thing With Feathers”. The first verse says: “Hope” is the thing with feathersThat perches in the soulAnd sings the tune without wordsAnd never stops at all It’s a beautiful metaphor in that it implies that we can carry hope with us always. It is…
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What’s In Your Pocket? (redux)
Today is September 1st. Labor Day. It’s also my dad’s birthday. He would be 95 if he were alive today. I originally wrote this for a writing critique group I belonged to and then posted it in 2022 when I first started my blog. My dad set an example for me of what “good grieving”…
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What’s the Plan?
A Bible verse that is quoted frequently is Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Taken out of context this verse can feel like a feather pillow or a stumbling block. We can take…
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Triggers
Last week I talked about grief triggers and how pictures especially can trigger tears. Both pictures with my daughter in them and ones taken since her death can stab my heart and make me smile at the same time. The last pictures I have of Rachel were taken at her wedding. She died in a…
A Light for My Path
Carrying the torch for bereaved parents.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105
Why I’m Here
It feels impossible that I have lived for more than eight years now (ed. 2025) without one of my children in my life. Yet, here I am. And, here I will be for however many more years I have in this world.
I’ve learned a lot in these ensuing years. Some lessons I didn’t want to learn and some I wouldn’t have learned any other way than through losing Rachel. I would give anything to have remained ignorant. I have learned that losing a child changes you fundamentally, just as becoming a parent does. I have learned that those changes can be hard on relationships. That members of the same family will grieve differently, and we have to give each other grace. That deep and lasting grief can be frightening or uncomfortable to others. That some of those others will pull away. That many more others will stand beside you even when your changed self is hard to be around, awkward, talking too much, silent, laughing inappropriately, or crying uncontrollably.
What doesn’t change is God’s grace and mercy. He is here in the midst of the deepest grief. His Spirit groans for us when we don’t know what to pray. And, in my case, He led me to a wonderful group of other hurting hearts who shared their loss experiences, their faith struggles, and their recognition that though we grieve, we grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13).
I’ve decided that just maybe I’ve attained enough life lessons to be of some help to other grieving parents. To that end, I launched this blog site and a companion Facebook page. They are open to all, but the target audience is parents who have lost a child and those who love and want to support them. My posts reflect my Christian beliefs and will follow Biblical principles. I welcome questions, comments, humor, soul-baring, vulnerability, doubt, strength, and support.
Laura 3/28/2022
We are all just walking each other home.
Ram Dass
A Light for My Path 