A Light for My Path

What is a family? Traditionally family is defined as your close “blood” relatives. People who are direct descendants of a man and a woman as far back in your ancestry that you can trace. People who are interested in their heritage often have made a hobby of genealogy and have traced their family roots back hundreds of generations. Their family tree resembles Thimmamma Marrimanu, a banyan tree in India whose canopy covers nearly five acres.

I have quite a lot of information about my father’s parents’ genealogy. A very comprehensive history of my maternal grandmother’s family tree. But hardly any written information about the family background of my grandfather on my mother’s side. I am grateful for the family information I do have, but wish I knew more about my Papa’s story.

My two girls grew up in a very “blended” household that included five siblings, variously whole, half, and step brothers and sisters. Rachel, my second daughter, was the youngest of this motley crew. None of them differentiated their relationships. They all referred to each other simply as “my brother” or “my sister.” When introducing a parent, they usually clarified when someone was a stepparent. But, when there was a big event where all the grown-ups were in attendance, a cry of “Mom!” or “Dad!” might be answered by multiple people at once.

Not to say that there weren’t any tensions among the adults, but we all agreed that the most important thing was the kids knew they were loved and cared for by all.

As the five of them grew up, spouses and in-laws were added to the clan. And, pretty soon grandkids, as well. I am blessed to have six young-uns who call me “Grandmama.” Two of them have no actual blood relationship to me, but my heart smiles whenever I hear any one of them refer to me that way.

Family get-togethers are usually an occasion for pictures, although it’s rare to have the entire clan together in one location. Time, jobs, and distance leave gaps in photos that are mostly discernable only by a few. Some of those gaps are permanent. There’s no placeholder for those who have moved on to Heaven. We have more pictures now with Rachel’s husband in them without her than we do of them together.

The permanent gaps make me realize even more how important family ties are. How quickly children grow up. How we cannot take good health for granted. How not everyone gets to have a long life with decades of pictures to reminisce over.

Since early April, we have had multiple occasions for family gatherings: several birthdays, Easter, Mother’s Day, a concert, spring break, anniversaries. And coming up we’ve got Memorial Day, two graduations, a baccalaureate, a dance recital, and a moving-to-college day. Not everyone gathers for all of these. But they are all occasions for pictures. Which we remind each other to be sure and take a lot of. Even if we’re not feeling very picturesque. Because we want to capture these memories.

And because we’re family.

---

Laura