A Light for My Path

I have a very dear friend who I met through volunteering at a local thrift store. I serve on the board of a small nonprofit she established. Her credentials are impressive. She is an ordained pastor, a certified grief and marriage/family counselor. One of the several programs offered by her nonprofit is conducting grief workshops. These are typically offered in church settings and are designed to help church leaders and members support each other through grief. I am privileged to assist in these workshops to specifically address child loss.

A hard topic to deal with for many Christians is grief associated with “unacceptable” loss. In other words, death that has occurred in a relationship or situation that’s frowned upon by the church. This could be a church member grieving the loss of a same-sex partner or a partner in an extramarital affair. It could be the death of someone involved in a crime, perhaps gun violence or illegal drugs. It could be death by suicide. Depending on your beliefs, some or all of these situations would be considered sinful and taboo.

But there are still people who loved and are grieving the loss of the deceased. I have read so many heart-breaking comments from grieving parents who say they don’t feel comfortable or welcome in their church because of the circumstances surrounding their child’s death. At a time when they most need comfort, love, and healing, they feel ostracized instead.

On the surface it makes sense to want to disassociate ourselves with people who participate in unacceptable behavior. You know — sinners. But let’s pull out those stretchy bracelets we used to wear and ask, “What Would Jesus Do?”.

Would he go stand at the altar in the temple and loudly pray “Thank you God that I am not a sinner like these others”? (Of course, in his case, it would be true.) Or would he have dinner with a tax collector and chat with a Samaritan woman who had had multiple husbands and was living with a man she wasn’t married to? Because these were the people who needed his company the most.

Being in the company of sinners doesn’t make us sinners. Just like being in the company of saints doesn’t make us saints. Living out our Christian faith can require getting our hands dirty at times. It can mean taking a casserole to the home of a bereaved mother whose son died in a gang war. It can mean comforting the woman crying in the back row at the funeral of her married lover. It can mean sitting in the church pew with the man whose son died of AIDS.

We can show Christ-like love to hurting people while not condoning their actions. God doesn’t shine his mercy, grace, and goodness just on the blameless. Offering comfort and support should never be taboo.

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Laura