Nobody’s perfect, right? We are all human. We know we are flawed, but it’s still so easy to compare ourselves to others and come up lacking.
I mentioned in last week’s blog that I was going to be attending a retreat with some other bereaved mothers. It was even more of a blessing than I had hoped. There were just five of us together, including the leader. So, conversation was intimate and lively. Surprisingly, there was almost as much laughter as there were tears. We shared our stories in brutal honesty. And comforted each other with prayers, hugs, and affirmations that our feelings, fears, and personal changes after child loss are perfectly normal. We had lots of wonderful food. Time for crafts, walks, and stargazing around a firepit.
And twice a day we had devotional time with a lesson and discussion about keeping our faith, hope, and trust in God’s sovereignty and the promise of eternity in an imperfect world that includes child loss.
A major factor in being able to hold onto His promises is steeping ourselves in His Word. Being able to remind ourselves of what the Bible tells us when life throws curveballs, the world feels like a scary place, and the enemy tells us things are hopeless and God doesn’t care.
Our group leader is a gifted Biblical scholar. She has studied the Bible deeply and can offer verses and passages in response to just about any concern a troubled heart has. One of the other ladies participating in the retreat also has a wealth of Biblical knowledge and can wield a sharp sword of truth against the deceit Satan wants to plant in our minds and hearts. Especially when we are hurting and vulnerable, physically or emotionally.
I’m gonna stand right up here and tell you I am no where near the level of Biblical scholarship of these two ladies. I am in awe of their knowledge and embarrassed at my lack.
On the last morning of the retreat, I privately confessed my feeling of inadequacy to one of the other ladies in attendance. She sighed in relief and said she felt the same. We shared having trouble memorizing passages word for word. We are familiar with many stories and characters from the Bible but can’t quote chapter and verse. We’re both pretty sketchy on some details.
We agreed that we need to improve. She recommended a plan she had just started in The Bible app that takes you through the Bible chronologically and provides context and additional information.
Both of the ladies who are deep scholars are also sweet, loving, nonjudgmental people. The knowledge they shared was offered to help our hearts heal and to give us a rope to grab onto when we start to slip into a pit of despair.
But I still feel humbled at their intimacy with God’s Word and embarrassed at my lack. My imperfection. Fortunately, I have some knowledgeable sources to go to for study guides and input.
Better yet, I have the ultimate Source of the Word itself to guide me. I may not be perfect. But He is.
Laura
A Light for My Path 
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