Today is Memorial Day in the U.S. A lot of people confuse Memorial Day and Veterans’ Day. Veterans’ Day, an official U.S. holiday each November 11^th, celebrates and honors all who have served or are serving in our Armed Forces. Memorial Day, held on the last Monday in May, is set aside specifically to honor and commemorate those who gave their lives serving in our country’s military branches. I say “commemorate” rather than celebrate, because it is a solemn occasion and we should be acknowledging their sacrifice.

That’s not to say that Memorial Day has to be a completely mournful holiday. Most companies give their workers a long weekend off. Many schools are out for summer break starting the Friday before. A lot of families, friends, and neighbors plan vacations, get-togethers, parades, picnics, and other events during the holiday.

Whether you are attending a neighborhood party, spending the weekend at the beach or lake, camping in a state part, or hiking in a national forest, I hope you will pause at some point and reflect on the importance of this holiday. And, don’t forget that Memorial Day may be a hard day for some.

According to Statistica.com, “the number of military fatalities in all major wars involving the United States from 1775 to 2024” is more than 1.3 million. You may even know someone who has lost a family member who was serving in the armed forces. As large as it is, the combat death toll is not the sum total of service-related losses. The physical and mental scars that many veterans suffer are often unbearable. I have a childhood friend whose daughter could not overcome the traumatic experiences she endured. Despite treatment and counseling, she ultimately took her own life. Many of the parents in bereavement groups share similar stories. Young men and women come home with such horrible images seared into their minds that they turn to alcohol or drugs to try to deaden the pain. Instead these drugs have killed them. A friend’s husband, who has been out of the military nearly 50 years, still suffers from PTSD and has nightmares about the atrocities he witnessed.

Unfortunately, there is often a stigma attached to suicides and death due to overdoses. Parents may not talk about how their child died outside of bereaved parents’ groups or counseling sessions. They may avoid Memorial Day parades and celebrations because their child did not die “in the right way” to be honored.

If you wonder why your new neighbors turned down the invitation to gather at the pool, grill burgers, eat watermelon, and watch the fireworks, please know that they aren’t necessarily anti-social. They may be mourning a loved one. They may be trying hard to avoid alcohol. Fireworks may trigger anxiety attacks.

Or, maybe they’re just remembering.

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People often wonder about the significance of poppies on Memorial Day. You may see someone wearing one pinned to his shirt. Perhaps they were given out at your church yesterday. Or someone on a float was tossing them to the crowd during a parade. This tradition was started based on a poem written by Lt Colonel John McCrae. He was a Canadian doctor serving in WWI. He wrote these words as a tribute to the fallen soldiers he witnessed at the battle of Ypes, Belgium on May 3, 1915.

In Flanders Fields

BY JOHN MCCRAE

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

    That mark our place; and in the sky

    The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

    Loved and were loved, and now we lie,

        In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

    The torch; be yours to hold it high.

    If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

        In Flanders fields.

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Laura