A Light for My Path

I mentioned in last week’s post, The Doldrums, how lonely grief can feel. Especially child loss. In first world countries these days child loss is mercifully rare. It wasn’t always so. Even well into the early 20^th century most people had lost, or knew a family who had lost, a child. Miscarriages, stillbirths, accidents, and diseases caused heartbreak for many families. Thankfully today, prenatal care, vaccines, antibiotics, and safety devices prevent what would have been tragedies a few decades ago.

This means though that when parents do lose a child, they often don’t know anyone else who has.

All loss is hard, but I believe the grief from child loss is unique in its impact. And, when there is no one you know who has experienced it, the sense that no one else understands just compounds your grief and feelings of isolation.

About a year-and-a-half before my younger daughter died, a high school classmate lost her son in a hunting accident. She was one of the first people to reach out to me when I posted the news about Rachel. She said “I’m going to walk you through this.” I realize now how much her own heart was still hurting, but she felt compelled to offer me her hand.

A few months later, I found the Facebook page Heartache and Hope: Life After losing a Child. I had actually joined and left a few other online groups that just didn’t feel right. I appreciated the fact that this group was limited to parents only who had lost a child. Also, that it was Christian faith-based and the moderator kindly, but firmly, monitored posts and comments for statements and ideas that were unbiblical. I followed it quietly for a few weeks, then timidly expressed a few thoughts about how I was feeling. The caring, uplifting responses I received made me feel like I was home.

I soon bonded with several of the other bereaved parents and we became friends outside of the group. None of us is glad about what brought us together, but we are so happy we have met.

In the subsequent six and a half years since I joined that group I have realized just how important it is to know that someone else understands what you are going through. Oh, how I wish I didn’t have that realization, but since I do, I believe God expects me to offer the same hand I received. We may have no choice but to walk this path, but we don’t have to walk it alone.

Are you amazed sometimes by the people God has put in your path?

Me, too.

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Laura