A Light for My Path

I keep a notepad handy beside my reading chair to jot down quotes or ideas from various sources that I think might spur a blog post. One of my morning devotional readings is Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. More than once a phrase or observation in her book has prompted me to write.

In her devotion for October 2^nd, she says, “You don’t need to work at revealing yourself to me.” (Me being Jesus.)  I need this reminder frequently. Often when I pray I start out by explaining to God what is on my mind. As if He doesn’t already know. Ms. Young’s devotional quotes Luke 12:7 in saying “And the very hairs of your head are numbered . . ..” God knows EVERYTHING about me. Down to the number of hairs on my head. He knows what I’m thinking about. He knows when I skipped my workout and ate ice cream instead. He knows when my heart is glad because my youngest grand texted me 100 heart emojis and said she misses me.

He knows when I am scared, worried, depressed, and anxious.

This used to bother me. That I couldn’t hide my flaws and imperfections and, well, my sins from God.

There’s a lot we can do to hide our flaws from the world. We can color our hair and put on makeup and squeeze our thighs into “slimming undergarments” (what my mother called a girdle). We can put on a mask of indifference when someone snubs us. We can surround ourselves with material things to show how successful we are in, well, in accumulating material things.

But, even the best actors must face the real world at some point.

What a relief it is not to have to pretend in front of God. It took me a long time to realize this. I didn’t have to pretend like I had it all together. That I was a perfect person. That I had everything under control. God knew. God knows. I am not perfect. I don’t have everything, okay some days, hardly anything, under control.

I don’t have to tell God who I am. What a mess I am. How scared I am. HE KNOWS.

I remember as a teenager trying to pretend to my mother that I hadn’t sneaked one of my grandmother’s cigarettes. Even though I reeked of smoke. I remember trying to “buff out” the scratch I put on daddy’s car when I cut it too close pulling into the garage.

I remember trying not to laugh when my toddler feigned ignorance about the green streaks on the dog’s face. All the while my daughter had a green highlighter in her fist.

Yes, we should confess our sins. We should own up to our mistakes. And, we may have to accept some punishment and make up for our transgressions.

But, what we don’t have to do is also bear the guilt of trying to cover it up. Whatever “it” may be. God knows who we are. What we’ve done. Who we’ve helped; who we’ve hurt. When we’re brave; when we’re scared. When we’re absolutely sure; when we don’t have a clue.

He knows.

So, why tell Him then? Why confess? If God already knows why can’t I just let it go? Because we can’t really let it go and take the guilt off our shoulders until we give it away. And, who better to give it to than God? When we tell Him our fears and doubts and worries and mistakes and ask Him to take them and forgive us, we aren’t revealing ourselves to Him. We are allowing Him to reveal Himself to us.

Wow. What a revelation.

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Laura